The Winner Takes It All

Posted on March 11, 2025 in #Leadership. Reading time: 5 minutes

Admittedly, this article deals with an issue I have observed to be most acutely felt by women. But as always, I think women and men should learn about the other’s experience of the world. So read on fellas!

The Problem

Picture this:

Wherever you look within your organisation, you just cannot seem to find a woman that you can look up to. A role model, someone with the kind of status and abilities you could aspire to.

Representation matters. Being able to actually see a future self and strive towards it. Not only can you not find one because there are so few the higher up in the hierarchy we go, the ones you see more often than not seem…off-putting? Unapproachable, possibly a bit territorial? Maybe with a reputation for being a tad “cut throat” or “political”?

Have you been there? Have you felt that special kind of loneliness?

The Root Cause

Friends and clients I have worked through this issue with would often say things like “I’m alright, it is just the way the system works.” Let me tell you: we are not alright and the system doesn’t have to be this way.

I intentionally put the word “intention” into the name of the “Intentional Leadership” approach. And yes, I am aware of having used a variation of the word intention 3 times in one sentence. For it is intentional action that will change things for us. It is about looking deeper than the symptoms of the above-mentioned loneliness and addressing the root cause.

The truth of the matter is that for what feels like aeons, a system was maintained that trapped women in a scarcity of success mindset.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg famously said: “I’m sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the supreme court]? And I say ‘When there are nine.’ People are shocked. But there’d been nine men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.”

The Path to Intentional Leadership

Mindset may sound fluffy to you. It isn’t. To anyone who has ever attempted to “become someone who regularly exercises”, it will be evident that “a mind (that is) set” is hard to change.

Mindset is informed by factual reality. Women face systemic biases in their careers. Equal access to leadership positions, equitable hiring practices, being allowed to “show balls” without being called “aggressive” or “bitchy”.

Opportunity is scarce. Thing is, it will stay scarce if we stay in a scarcity mindset. Instead, we must intentionally cultivate a mindset of abundance around us. For ourselves, and for others. The opportunities will follow and unlike the title would suggest, we can all be winners.

Here’s how you can get started:

And I want to say how important it is to help curate abundance around you regardless of whether you are in a formal leadership position or not. There will always be someone, down to the greenest intern, below you in the ranks, looking up and hoping to see a bright light they can stride towards.

Step 1 – Find Your Own Location

Abundance mindset requires empathy and realizing our sameness. The systems that create a sense of scarcity are in place to keep us feeling separate from one another, divided. “Let me grab that fast for myself before it vanishes”, right?

Even if they can feel far away from each other, both the person looking for a role model and the role-model-to-be are victims of that very same system. They are in the same “location”. They are the same. And sameness creates opportunity to relate and nudge closer.

Step 2 – Relate Things to Business

Whether you work in a for-profit or not, most places will respond most favorably to a change initiative that is rooted in “business savvy”. People think minding the DEI make-up of our firms is a “nice thing to do”, but it actually is the only commercially sane thing to do (as is evidenced by countless studies). It is the same with a scarcity mindset.

In an environment that makes people feel like they have to cling to what they already have for dear life before it gets “snatched away” by someone else, people tend to keep their eyes on their feet rather than looking at the horizon and innovation. Keep this in mind as you shimmy to Step 3.

Step 3 – Create Abundance

Someone needs to make the first move, so why should that someone not be you? Whether you are the role-model-to-be or the person looking for one, creating spaces where abundance can unfold is within your power.

Is there a formal or informal employee resource group for women to meet, share their stories, realize their sameness and create opportunity for one another? If the answer is no, launch one. This can be as small as an informal lunch n’ meet once per week and open to anyone.

Raise awareness for Steps 1 and 2, explore the limiting factors of the system you work in productively. Together, devise counter measures, minimize the distance and become role models for one another.

The world sometimes makes us feel like the cake is limited and we have to fight to get our piece. But really, I’d much rather bake an extra cake with my friends.

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The Intentional Leadership Series aims to help leaders elevate their craft by learning how to identify and address the root cause of a problem, as opposed to dwelling on the symptom. Often the root cause of leadership that is not intentional but reactive, lies within the leader themself. A lot of this has to do with fear in its many shapes and colours. While acknowledged as fundamental to many of our challenges, this series is not a psychological exploration of our existential angst. We are looking at the attributes and behaviors of Intentional Leadership in practical work-place scenarios. This kind of Intentional Leadership is trust-based, courageous & vulnerable, committed, accountable and impactful.

I also want us to remember that the article you just read is an example only and will never be able to do the complexity of your unique situation justice. If its practical lessons end up helping you in your life, awesome! If this scenario doesn’t sound like your life, but inspires you in one way or another, equally as awesome! And if it just makes you realize that your challenges are so complex that no one person could plausibly be expected to solve them on their own, genius! You are allowed to get support, from a leadership coach like me or any other within your reach. Take care!

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